Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A little something different.
I apologize about all of the spacing errors in the last post, my spacebar key is obviously malfunctioning. It must be sticky or something.It's been a great week so far, and it's only tuesday! I've been going through alot lately. Alot of decisions to make, alot of moving on to do, alot of pain, alot of hurt, alot of emotions and thoughts running wild through my head. And throw in there that it's a week before Christmas and I've barely got any of my Christmas shopping done, and it doesn't make for a nice recipe. It's been stressful to say the least. But I'm continually learning to cast my cares upon Him, and He will take care of me.
I've relied on a few people in the last year, maybe more than I should have. I trusted a few people in the last year, definitely whom I shouldn't have. And I've been let down by all parties mentioned prior. I'm starting to realize that the only consistancy in my life, is my God. Nothing else. I think I know and have figured out God's plan for my life sometimes, and I try to take things into my own hands. I try to make decisions without consulting the Holy Spirit, and it always ends in a way I would have perferred it not to.
But, like I always say, I'm a work in progress. I'm not perfect. I don't have it all figured out. I haven't arrived. I'm still trying to figure out today, so how can I possibly think I have tomorrow figured out? I've always been a fan of the little, special things in life. I've never really been a "big deal" kind of girl. But I think in the past year, I lost sight of the little things that mean so much to me. I lost sight of what was important and I got my priorities wrong. And in the end, I got my heart broken. I refuse to do it again. I refuse to feel this heartache and pain anymore. Never again. So from this day forward, it's first things first. Once I'm completely lined up with the Word, priorities and all, that's when things are going to start happening. My circumstances will change. And my blessing will come in abundance.
So, with all of that being said, I want to apologize to everyone who became a part of my life within this past year. I'm sorry. I never really gave you a chance to meet the "real" Alaina. You may have met some of her, but you have yet to see her completely, as a whole, in her most natural and perfect state. I want to give you that chance. Don't confuse that with trust, but hopefully through it there can be a foundation of trust started. I've got alot of great and wonderful things starting in my life right now, and I still want you all to be a part of it. To walk with me and be there for me and stand by me. More than I want it, I need it. I need the accountability. I need the friendship. And I need the encouragement. I love you all very much. Thank you for understanding.
I LOVE YOU 9:12 AM