Friday, December 19, 2008
Excitement and Cookies.
Today was our Christmas party at work. And as ghetto as it was, it was actually really fun. Plus, we had a half day, which just makes it better. We had these cookies though, and I don't know where they're from, but I have to find out. They were seriously THE BEST cookies I've ever put in my mouth.
Yesterday I had my job interview for the magazine. And I got it! I start out as an intern, by choice, for a month, and then they're gonna give me the full time position. I don't think I could possibly be any more excited! This has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl. It became less and less important to me over the years, especially this past one. But like I said, my priorities were wrong. God has such great plans for our lives, but we always try to put our hands in the mix and end up settling for something less. I've settled for jobs I didn't want, I've settled for friends I didn't need, I've settled for guys I shouldn't have. And why? All because I had to try to do things myself. If we would just let God do His thing, our lives would be better than what we had even wanted in the first place.
Tomorrow is Meghans wedding. I'm excited, and sad. I don't want to see her go. I'm not sure why, but weddings are always really emotional to me. Maybe it's because I've dreamt of mine for years. Maybe it's because I know everything is about to completely change. Or maybe it's because a wedding signifies something greater. A unifying of two people for the rest of their lives. And saying it like that actually freaks me out. How and when do you really know that this is it for you? I thought I knew. For almost two years. And I was wrong. I was ready too. I would have changed my name and my life. And I would have been happy with that. But what happens in your head or in your heart that you just know, this is "the one"? This whole relationship stuff, makes me sick to my stomache. That will change, I hope, when I meet "the one." I just think for me right now, it's best left on the backburner. I have greater things to focus on. That will happen in God's timing. But, back to Meghan's wedding. I'm giving the toast. I've probably written and re-written it a million times already. And more than likely, knowing me, I'll be in the bathroom ten minutes before the reception crossing stuff out and changing it again. I'm nervous, because I look at things on a greater scale than most people do. A toast at a reception is what they walk off into their honeymoon, and into the rest of their lives together taking advice and encouragement from. Thats a big deal, to me anyways. So I need it to be perfect. For them, and for my subconscious. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's been a long week, and one without alot of sleep. Things need to start slowing down.
This year has been a year of lessons for me. I wish I could do it all over again. I would be wiser with my decisions. Alot wiser. But thats what mistakes are for, to learn from. And that just means next year, I will be sure to not make the same decisions again.
I LOVE YOU 1:46 PM
